Beyond the Bougie Gaze: Why Leaving Isn’t About Status

Defining the Bougie Gaze

The bougie gaze is the habit of measuring one’s worth by their perceived level of comfort, money or status instead of by their humanity. It’s a way a certain group of people decide who matters and who doesn’t…who’s worthy and who isn’t. Choosing to turn your nose up at or look down on those you feel are less fortunate than you is a special kind of sickness; One where you’ve forgotten where you came from.

Why People Get in the Way

There will always be gatekeepers and elitists who enjoy making some people feel small for even asking questions like: How do I leave the US? Where can Black people feel safe in the world? How does asylum even work? I want to leave but I don’t have my passport yet. How do I start? Instead of offering support, the snobs ridicule and laugh while responding with BS in the comments:

• “Wait. You don’t even have your passport yet? Y’all run me hot getting on here asking dumb questions and haven’t even started your research.”

• “How you gonna move abroad when your money ain’t right? If you don’t have at least $100k saved, then what are you even doing trying to live abroad with no job?”

• “You really think you can just leave the country without asking your baby daddy? SMH good luck with that. Y’all kill me not having no kind of plan. You haven’t even vacationed abroad so how you think you’re gonna live abroad?”

Asking questions and making a forum, LIVE or Facebook group your first stop isn’t dumb or crazy. Being amongst a community you consider to be “your people” should also be a safe space to get support, but capitalism has made some folks nasty inside. They get in these comments and turn curiosity into judgment and community into competition.

Moving Abroad Is Possible

You don’t need six figures or the “perfect” job and you don’t need everything figured out before you go, either. There are ways to handle your business, build your plan and leave…responsibly. With your current stateside job, once you get paid, just make sure to gather the necessary paperwork and secure your residency. From there, you start having conversations with your friends and family to start building your community to leave. The people who want to grow with you are the ones who matter. Capitalism-trained minds don’t like that; they prefer hierarchy over helping. They want to keep you stuck while they appear as though they are better than you.

The Capitalist Trap

Some people live to be better than everybody else. They don’t want anyone else to get ahead or make strides in life. They build fragile glass houses on shaky ground and think they’re geniuses. If you even think of offering them community, they act like they’re willing to step in but deep inside they aren’t really interested in uplifting others, especially alongside or above themselves. When you ask them about pooling resources they comeback with:

“I don’t want to share a home anyone. I need my own space. People shouldn’t be moving abroad if they can’t hold their own.”

These same people wouldn’t lift a finger for anyone else if things got hard but expect a village to hold them. History already showed us the power of helping one another. Harriet Tubman didn’t ask permission. She moved people toward freedom. If you’re acting like a capitalist or elitist in the Black community, shame on you. You’re repeating cycles that were designed to hold our people down.

Community Always Wins

Community built Greenwood, black banks, businesses, schools and medical offices. The problem now? People are afraid to work together because they don’t trust anybody…not even themselves. Some people move abroad alone.

But many move abroad together.

And together is powerful.

You might be surprised how much easier it becomes when you pair up or form a small community:

A homeschool parent who can teach the children…

A caregiver who can support the elders…

A consultant or remote worker with U.S. income…

A TEFL teacher who can secure a work visa…

Suddenly, a group of people who might struggle individually becomes a household with balance, shared responsibilities, and financial stability. You don’t have to do everything by yourself and you were never meant to.

Practical Ways to Make It Happen

There are a few good ways to make money. Teaching English abroad is a simple way. Native English speakers (with or without a degree) can teach abroad through TEFL programs or offer tutoring services for steady income, respectively. And TEFL certification is far more accessible than people realize. You can often find TEFL courses through online discount retailers and many programs offer fast-track options allowing you to complete the coursework in as little as 24 hours, which usually translates to about 4–6 weeks if you dedicate 5–8 hours per week. Once you get your TEFL certification, you stack platforms like iTalki, Preply, Cambly, your own courses and digital products. By the time you leave the U.S., you have students, income and a plan. If you decide to apply to schools abroad for sponsorship, some institutions even cover your room, board and transportation. And no, you don’t need to learn the local language first. Is it helpful? Sure, but is it required? No.

The Truth About Money

It is not necessary to have $100,000 saved. You need a plan, a little bit of hustle mentality, a community and the courage to step out of the matrix. Some people telling you to “save more” are lying and they’re usually moving quietly to supersede everyone else, hoping no one finds out how to get where they are. But you? You can do it legitimately and without guilt. You can build from scratch and everybody can move abroad.

Claim Your Renaissance

If your heart wants to leave, you deserve it. You deserve peace, safety and the chance to reinvent yourself. And you deserve community while doing it. This isn’t a status symbol, it’s your life, your freedom. Step boldly and build intentionally. Just make sure to help others along the way. That’s how real liberation works.—